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Wanted: Employee for Entry Level Position

dignifiedrice:

The successful candidate will have a minimum of five years experience in a similar role, own their own transport, be related to someone I know and like, be proficient in Excel and kangaroo wrangling, have gold-plated nipples, and be willing to work full hours at minimum wage.

(via urbancatfitters)

wigglytuffer:

sorry i can’t go to school my earphones aren’t working

(Source: wigglytuffer, via tnrdl)

cornflakepizza:

mizliz:

meanwhile, this week on gotham 

#darkness #no paRENTS

cornflakepizza:

mizliz:

meanwhile, this week on gotham 

#darkness #no paRENTS

(via tnrdl)


I AM HUGGING YOU BECAUSE I LOVE YOU
ALSO SOMEONE ATE ONE OF YOUR SHOES BUT THIS IS NOT ABOUT THAT

I AM HUGGING YOU BECAUSE I LOVE YOU

ALSO SOMEONE ATE ONE OF YOUR SHOES BUT THIS IS NOT ABOUT THAT

(Source: vasuki, via tnrdl)

hippopotamus-hi-tops:

things your friends will say if you’ve made a good pun:

  • get out
  • fuck you
  • shut the fuck up
  • oh my god why
  • you need to stop
  • you’re not funny
  • that was terrible

(via tnrdl)

whiteboyslayer:

shoutout to mozzarella sticks

(via tyleroakley)

deerstalkingdeathfrisbee:

weenierenegades:

CATS ARE FUCKIN WEIRD

don’t pretend you wouldn’t stretch like this if you had the flexibility

deerstalkingdeathfrisbee:

weenierenegades:

CATS ARE FUCKIN WEIRD

don’t pretend you wouldn’t stretch like this if you had the flexibility

(via imlazy)

psyducked:

finally a UN that can bring peace and happiness to the world

psyducked:

finally a UN that can bring peace and happiness to the world

(Source: misterwooff, via dorkvader)

(via imlazy)